The Mascot

The Mascot is the fourth broadcast episode of Cavemen.

When Nick is forced to take a job as a high school substitute teacher, he finds himself enjoying the experience, until he discovers their football team, the Fighting Savages, and their caveman mascot Grok Grok. Meanwhile, Leslie enlists an unwilling Andy's help to cover up an affair.

Synopsis
Nick's dire financial situation has lead him to accept a job as a substitute teacher and though Andy makes fun, he is likewise looking for a job, revealing that he is a qualified accountant. After the frustrating ordeal of getting Nick to work—he needs his own vehicle—he enjoys himself once he gets there, passing on his niche beliefs to a new generation. Meanwhile, Leslie finds out about Andy's accounting and brings him back to her room to work on her books. Unfortunately for Andy, what she is trying to do is steal money from her husband in order to spend it on her lover; though he is coerced into helping, it weighs heavily on his mind.

Back at school, Nick discovers something which changes his feelings about teaching; the Lake Murray High football team called the Fighting Savages, whose name and image is based on offensive and stereotypical caveman imagery, in the style of the Washington Redskins' use of Native Americans. However, he is assured that their mascot is dignified and respectful. As Nick explains the situation to his friends at squash, Andy retires from the game and sits down to think, anxious about the situation with Leslie. He is able to relieve his stress, though when he blurts out Leslie's actions to Joel, he worries about telling Leslie's daughter Kate and later backs out of telling her after she tells him how happy her parents are.

Returning to work the next day, Nick finds a crowd of people waving foam clubs and chanting, "Ook! Ook!", apparently in honor of the football team. Following them to a pep rally, Nick is introduced to Grok Grok, a costumed character who is a cartoonishly exaggerated caveman, with a prominent brow, club, and pet dinosaur named "Steggy." Back at Leslie's apartment building, she spots Joel and, thinking he is Andy, openly discusses her situation with him. Joel tells her he cannot keep this a secret from Kate and she agrees to deal with it.

At first holding his composure, Nick confronts Grok Grok and asks him to leave, but the mascot responds by making fun of him and clubbing him over the head. Though he struggles to remain calm, Nick eventually snaps, taking Grok Grok's club and beating him to the ground. At this point, the head of the Grok Grok costume falls off and Nick (and the entire crowd) realize he has just beaten up a girl. When the school day ends, Nick races away from an angry crowd of jocks with Maurice, again lamenting his lack of independent transport. Though initially convinced that the story will blow over, Nick soon finds that footage of the incident has been uploaded to the Internet and has become a fad. However, his luck soon changes when Leslie arrives and tries to pay off "Joel" to keep quiet; Nick demands $2000 (still as "Joel"), which he uses to finally buy the transport (a moped) he has been wanting without the hard work Joel claimed would be required of him.

ABC summary

 * Nick takes a job as a substitute teacher and discovers that the school's mascot is an offensive, stereotypical caveman -- which leads him on a quest to have the mascot removed. Meanwhile, Andy's search for an accounting job comes to an end when Leslie hires him to balance her books. But he's torn about what to do when he discovers that Leslie has been dabbling in some creative financing for her lover that could both estrange her from her family and land her in jail, on "Cavemen," TUESDAY, OCTOBER 23 on the ABC Television Network.

Allusions

 * Andy makes fun of Nick for looking like a Mormon, commonly used to refer to any Latter-day Saints believers but specifically referring to proponents of Mormonism; Mormons are known for their door-to-door evangelism, for which they dress professionally.
 * Nick refers to a blonde student as Hannah Montana, the doubly fictional popstar (within the series, she is an alter ego to the "ordinary girl" Miley Stewart) portrayed by Miley Cyrus in the Disney series named for the character.
 * When describing the probable future film about his revolutionary teaching, Nick suggests his character will be played by Zac Efron, a popular teen actor made famous by his involvement in the High School Musical series of Disney films.
 * Principal Collins explains the Lake Murray High Savages and caveman mascot Grok Grok as being similar to the Blue Devils or the Crimson Tide (the respective sports teams of Duke University and the University of Alabama; Nick denies these as appropriate analogies, and Collins suggests instead the Washington Redskins, who, like Lake Murray High, use an archetypical minority as their team name and logo (in that case, Native Americans), instead. She also describes Grok Grok as a "noble neanderthal", comparable to the concept of the "noble savage".
 * Maurice quotes the 1986 film Top Gun with the line "I feel the need. The need for speed." Nick points out the extreme age of this reference (21 years at first airing).
 * The lesson Nick gives on the reason(s) why soccer will never be embraced in the United States covers a great deal of ground: Evian, the Titanic, Australian rules football, Tupac Shakur and Biggie Smalls, the Vietnam War, the Cuban Missile Crisis, Milli Vanilli, the (potentially fake) Moon landing, Fidel Castro, and the Bay of Pigs disaster.
 * In an attempt to segue into a discussion about Kate's parents' relationship, Joel brings up the breakup of actors Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe (Kate: "two years ago"), who had a relationship spanning the better part of a decade and two children before divorcing in late 2006 (less than one year before Cavemen).
 * An awestruck Nick uses the expression "Sweet Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson"; Dwayne Johnson is an actor and former professional wrestler who wrestled under the name and is still sometimes popularly known as "The Rock".
 * Leslie asks "Andy" (Joel) to siphon some more of her husband's money into a purchase of a watch in the style of Today Show host Matt Lauer.
 * When Nick finishes work and wants desperately to get away before he is beaten in turn for (unknowingly) hitting a girl, he describes himself as being like the Karate Kid; Maurice gets caught up in the analogy and brings up Cobra Kai, the rival dojo in the film, and then quotes Mr. Miyagi, further delaying Nick's escape.
 * Nick watches video footage of himself attacking Grok Grok on a (fictional) website called VidzWeb, whose logo and layout mimic YouTube's as at the time of production.

Quotes
Nick: All right, people; my name is "Mr. Hedge". I can tell by your wide-eyed stares and slackened jaws that you've never been taught by a caveman before, so let's go through the basics, shall we? Do I live in a cave? No. I live in a sweet-ass condo. Do I hunt and kill my own food? No, I shop at an organic grocery store and pay too much for heirloom tomatoes. Do I paint animals on walls? On occasion, when I'm drunk enough. Any more questions? [Blonde raises hand.] Hannah Montana. Lisa: Do you have a tail? Nick: Yes. And it's got a poisonous barb on it. So don't mess with me.

Leslie: [on phone] Well, it's cause you're such a ho-bag ... OK, fine, slut, whatever ... Well, what's the difference? ... Oh. Oh! Stop! Good God, woman! Have some couth. Yeah, I gotta go now ... What? Mama? ... Skank.

Leslie: I need your help, Andy. Because ... I'm just a woman, and I'm confounded by numbers, and when I saw your resume, I just knew that you were my knight in shining armor. Because you're not only an accountant ... You're also a drum major.

Joel: Hey ... y-your parents ... Kate: Mhm? Joel: Do they still ... Kate: What, have sex? Joel: No. Kate: Watch porn? Joel: No. Kate: Pee in front of each other?

Mistakes

 * When Joel and Nick approach his car, Joel's left hand is empty, but in shots across and as he sits down in the car, he holds a thermos. Once inside the car, the same hand alternates between resting on the wheel and sitting in Joel's lap.
 * Nick's "MR HE..." on the classroom blackboard changes shape several times; most obviously, the partial "D" and its long trail vary greatly.