Nick Get Job

"Nick Get Job" is the second broadcast episode of Cavemen.

When Joel fires two Nörskbild employees for inappropriate workplace behavior, Nick is hired to fill in for them. However, his work ethic is less than could be desired. Andy meets a Homo sapiens woman who is immediately terrified of him.

Synopsis
Joel is preparing for work when he mentions to Nick that rent is due, and Joel will not be able to cover Nick's share. At the suggestion that he get a second job, Joel informs Nick he will have to get a job. At Nörskbild, Joel's co-worker Glen informs him that two employees are behaving inappropriately in the ball pit. When he discovers them near-naked in the ball pit, he fires them immediately. Now, with large gaps in the schedule to fill, Joel suggests to his boss Mr. Hogan that Nick be hired to replace them.

Andy is in the building's laundry when a woman enters, but is frozen with fear as soon as she sees him. Andy is friendly, introducing himself and offering spare quarters, but the woman turns and runs. Returning to the apartment, where Joel has just informed Nick he will have to either take the job or move back in with his mother, Andy informs the others of his encounters. Maurice and Nick explain that she probably assumed he was a "sex-craved caveman", intent on sexually assaulting her. At Nörskbild the next day, Joel is showing Nick the ropes, but Nick finds his job as a "replenisher" demeaning.

In the apartment building parking lot, Andy sees the woman from the laundry again and tries again to introduce himself. However, in his fervor to show her he is not a psychopath, he chases her to her car and rants about how nice he is through her window. The woman speeds away in terror. Back at Nörskbild, Nick is neglecting his duties (delegating them to his superiors) to come up with "marketing" ideas, feeling this is a position more suited to him. At home that night, Joel is distracted by his frustration with Nick and it is impacting his romantic life. Kate encourages Joel to simply fire him, an idea he finds attractive.

At Nörskbild the next day, Joel has Nick fired by allowing Mr. Hogan to see him slacking off. Nick is crushed and spends the day trying to figure out what he could have possibly done to be fired, concluding that he was fired just for being caveman. Andy has formulated a plan to break the ice with the terrified woman and manages to discover her name by peeking at the building's mail. Back at work, Hogan informs Joel that Nick has filed a wrongful termination suit against Nörskbild. Hogan and his lawyer prep Joel for the arbitration hearing concerning Nick, asking him to describe Nörskbild management as "colorblind". At the arbitration hearing, Nick states his case: That he was an innocent fired only for his species. Joel takes Nick aside and informs him that he had him fired for his terrible work, but Nick thinks he is only saying this to save his job.

However, when Mr. Hogan and his lawyer present dramatic evidence of Nick's attitude to work, with video of his neglectful behavior, he finally understands that his firing was justified. Armed with the knowledge that her name is Lucy Sprague, Andy impersonates a police officer in order to gain entry into the apartment of the girl from the laundry. He pins her against a wall and forces her to listen to his mother reassuring her he is harmless over the phone. Surprisingly, it works, and Lucy and Andy return to his apartment good friends; however, their happiness is short-lived when Joel and Nick, frustrated by she and Andy's peppy attitudes, scare her away by grunting and brandishing clubs.

ABC summary

 * After tiring of Nick's excuses for not having enough money to pay the rent, Joel gets him a job at the home improvement center, Narskbild. But when Nick is fired for being a terrible worker, he instantly assumes it's because he is a caveman and files a lawsuit against the company. Meanwhile, Andy scares a woman while trying to show her that he's not a scary guy, on "Cavemen," TUESDAY, OCTOBER 9 on the ABC Television Network.

Allusions

 * Nick likens his work demonstrating functionality at Nörskbild to Kim Cattral's role in Mannequin, in which the spirit of an ancient Egyptian woman inhabits a store mannequin; notably, she only comes to life when in sight of her designer.

Music

 * Junior Senior's "Can I Get Get Get": Plays when Lucy first runs away from Andy in the laundry, and over the next scene in the kitchen with Maurice.
 * Adam Ant's "Goody Two-Shoes": Plays over the final scene and credits, when Nick and Joel conspire to scare Lucy away.

Quotes
Joel: So Nick, basically, you've got two options: you can either accept the job that I've offered you or you can move back in with your mom and sleep in your cute little red racecar bed! Nick: Uhh, are you referring to the number eight Ferrari Testarossa, A.K.A. the Dream Machine? Surely, this is not the bed you mock. Joel: Welcome to the work force, Nick!

Andy: I was just in the laundry room, and some woman came in, and she turned around and ran. Maurice: Congratulations. You just experienced the raw, unbridled image of what the world thinks of us. "Eek! Help! It's a sex-craved caveman." Joel: Look, I'm sure she just forgot something. Nick: Yeah, her rape whistle.

Joel: Do you have any idea how much that company's done for me? Nick: No offense, but that company has made you into their performing bear who dances to their music and does whatever they say. Maurice: Yeah, "Do a dance, eat some honey, steal a pie off a windowsill." Nick: I think you're describing a hobo. Maurice: Yeah. Joel's their hobo.


 * [Nick and Joel are reading each other the Nörskbild employees' complaints about Nick.]

Joel: Well, here's one. "Nick Hedge is a visionary. How long will his genius go unrewarded?" Jeez, I wonder who wrote this one. Nick: I might have had a hand in that one. Joel: Yeah? Just a little bit? Nick: Just a teensy weensy influence on that. Joel: "A man of endless vision." No, it's—it's good. Subtle.