Her Embarrassed of Caveman/Transcript


 * It all started with us: The cavemen. Since day one, our people have always been where the action is. Sure, maybe not front and center, but if you're enjoying your modern civilization, you might want to send us a little thank-you note. We're not that hard to find. We're right here beside you. We're really not that different from you. Just a little better lookin'.


 * [Scene: Maurice's apartment. A party; men and women, Homo sapiens and cavemen mingle. Nick and Joel stand with a sapien partygoer; Nick is fiddling with his cell phone.]

Nick: So there's this tiny waitress and she's carrying a rack of ribs so big that they can tip over a car made of stone? I just don't see what's so funny about it. Partygoer: Yabba-dabba-doo! Nick: Don't. Ever. [The man walks away, looking miffed.] Does Maurice just hand out invitations at the bus station? Joel: What, that guy? He was okay, I guess. Nick: How would you know? You were texting the whole time. Joel: Well, I can multi... [Joel loses concentration, fiddling with phone.] Nick: Task? Joel: Yeah. What?
 * [Nick looks over to see Andy, standing against the wall on his cell phone, looking tense.]

Nick: Dude, your brother is drunk dialing again. He's like heavy in it right now. We gotta go in, Saving Private Ryan-style. Joel: [sotto voce] Come on, Andy.
 * [Joel and Nick approach Andy.]

Andy: Susan, I'm—I'm—I'm try—I'm trying to—I'm agreeing with you. I'm agreeing with you. Susan, now you're just... being childish. And hurtful. Joel: Give me that. Gimme it. Andy: No, I'm not gonna give you—
 * [Joel and Andy struggle over the phone.]

Joel: Give it—give it—gimme it. [Joel gets hold of the phone.] Goodbye, Susan. [He hangs up.] Andy: Thanks, Joel. We were having a really positive conversation. Joel: Andy, you came to San Diego to get away from her, right? Stop calling her. Andy: She called me! Joel: She slept with another man, in your car, while you were at the dentist. Andy: Yeah, well, I was in there for a really long time. Joel: Ohh. Nick: Dude, you're an embarrassment. Andy: You're an embarrassment!
 * [Nick's phone makes a message noise.]

Joel: Oh. Nick: Who is texting you? Joel: None of your business. Nick: Is she hot? I'm gonna guess [Joel walks away to read / answer his message.] [to Andy] Dude, this party is lamesville. There's two cave chicks here and I'm pretty sure that they are together.
 * [Maurice approaches Nick and Andy.]

Maurice: Hey! What the hell are you guys doing back here? These ladies aren't gonna make sweet love to themselves... or are they? [Maurice and Nick laugh.] Tuck in your shirt, Andy.


 * [Scene: Joel's apartment. Joel is reading messages again while getting ready for work. Andy is also dressed. Nick is reading the newspaper, still in bedclothes.]

Andy: Can I have the sudoku? Nick: I do the sudoku.
 * [Andy grabs the newspaper puzzle pages from the counter.]

Andy: We can do it together.
 * [Nick looks at him irritably.]

Andy: Susan and I used to do it together. Joel: Andy, enough about Susan, all right? Look, this city is swarming with chicks. Now you just gotta get out there and meet some of them. Nick: That's true, but keep in mind, this isn't like home where everybody's like us. So remember the rule: Stick to your kind, crave the cave.
 * [Joel looks uncomfortable at Nick's remark. Andy places the puzzle pages back on the counter.]

Andy: ...Yeah. I'm done. Nick: Are you serious? You finished it? Andy: Yeah, it was an easy one. Nick: And in pen? Joel, my ritual is being destroyed. I can't get anything written with this in the house. Joel: You haven't written a page in a year.
 * [Joel checks his phone again, then tosses it on the counter.]

Nick: Let me tell you something, Joel. 95% of a dissertation is conceptualising: internalizing data, formulating a hypothesis. The lion's share of the work is being done in the dome.
 * [Joel's phone makes a message noise, but he is busy making coffee; Nick picks up the phone and reads the message: "From: Kate. wut r u doing tonight?"]

Joel: All right, fine. Look, Andy, you gotta get out of the house. Nick obviously has a lot to do, so, I dunno: go downtown, see the city; do something, OK? Andy: Yeah. Yeah, I'm—I got it. I mean, I'm just—I just—I have a few phone calls I have to make this morning, and then my afternoon is wide open. Joel: Andy... you gotta stop calling Susan. Please.
 * [Nick types a reply into Joel's phone: "To: Kate. eating sushi of yur booty :-p"]

Andy: Did I ever tell you about the time we went to the aquarium and watched the two rays making love in the touch tank? I've never been that naked with anyone. Nick: Who's Kate? Joel: Stop reading my texts. Nick: Is she nice? Joel: Yes, she's very nice. Nick: Good sense of humor? Joel: Great, yeah. Nick: She... big up top? Joel: What? No, she—she's f— Nick: Huh? Joel: She's fine. Look, I'm not gonna talk to you about how she is up top. Please, just give me the phone, and— Nick: Ah, ah, ah, wait, let me just— [Another message on Joel's phone; Nick holds on long enough to see: "From: Kate. ooooo sexxxxy!!!"] Wow! She is open minded!
 * [Joel sighs and takes back his phone, then leaves for work.]

Andy: Love you, Joel. Nick: Indifferent to you, Joel.


 * [Scene: Nörskbild. Joel is explaining the function of a sofa bed to new employee Ray on the showroom floor.]

Joel: It's really very simple, Ray, it's three moves, okay? [demonstrating] Just grab the lever here, lift up, and slide out. Ray: Okay, that's gonna pinch me. Joel: No, no, no, it's not gonna pinch you. And it's really important that we show the customers just how simple it is, okay, so I want you to get in here and I want you to practice it. Ray: Can we do it tomorrow? Joel: Nope. Right now. Here we go. Ray: [doubtful] Okay. [Ray performs the Sign of the Cross before beginning.] Lever ... [The bed drops with Ray's hands under it.] Ow! Damn it, I got pinched! Joel: Okay, Ray, what did you do wrong? Ray: I didn't believe in myself. Joel: ...Number one. Number two, you didn't push down on the lever.
 * [Kate and Thorne approach Joel and Ray on the floor.]

Kate: Hi, I was wondering if you had any bedside tables with lamps already in them? Joel: Of course. Yes, that's called the... [prompting] Ray: ...Franstenvunst. Joel: The Blarnik. Kate: Okay. Joel: It's right this way. Kate: Okay, thanks. [to Thorne] I'll be right back.
 * [Kate follows Joel away in the direction of the Blarnik.]

Thorne: How does this fold up? Ray: I don't speak English.


 * [Cut to: Elsewhere at Nörskbild. Kate and Joel collapse into the lower bunk of a display bunk bed, with Kate on top of Joel.]

Kate: That was a dirty little message you sent me. Joel: Well, that's me, Kate. Your dirty little messenger.
 * [Kate and Joel kiss passionately. A boy laying in the top bunk sits up, unsure of what is going on.]

Kate: Oh my God, you are all hair. Joel: You smell like [inaudible], I love it. Ohh, I love fucking here.
 * [Kate moans. The boy peers down from the top bunk, alarmed.]


 * [Scene: Apartment. Joel is sitting in front of the TV watching a cave-weatherman wearing an Uncle Sam hat present the San Diego forecast while typing on his laptop; however, he's still not working on his dissertation, instead playing online poker.]

Cave-weatherman: [on TV] Let's go through the week, shall we? Uh, I want you [He points to the camera.] to pay attention. Thank God it's hump day today though. I'm tired and I'm ready for the best part of the week, and that's the weekend! Nick: [laughs] I love this guy.
 * [Andy's voice becomes audible, coming from elsewhere in the house. Nick mutes the TV.]

Andy: Si—si—six months ago, Susan. I've never said it! I've never said it! You—Susan? Susan. Nick: Hey! Andy: I've never said it! Nick: Keep it down in here, I'm tryin' to work! Andy: I did not come to San Diego to run away from you, Susan. Nick: Unacceptable.
 * [Nick puts his laptop aside and gets up to find Andy.]

Andy: No! No, I came here to run away from myself. [Nick enters Andy's bedroom; Andy is audible, but not visible.] Oh, come on, it's not that embarrassing that I'm crying. I don't care if you love him. You can love two guys.
 * [Nick approaches and opens the closet. Andy is sitting huddled on the closet floor, talking on his cell phone. He looks up at Nick.]

Nick: Really? Andy: That's Nick, he's Joel's best friend. Nick: Oh, my God. Andy: No, he's all right... a little pushy. Nick: I'm standing right here. Where's the base? I wanna disconnect you. Where's the base? Andy: No, he wants to know where the phone base is. Nick: Hang. Up. Hang up! Andy: ...I love you.
 * [Andy ends the call.]

Nick: R. Kelly. Get out of the closet, we're goin' out. Andy: I thought you had to work on your dissertation. Nick: Forget it. I'm out of the zone. Plus, you know... Wikipedia's under construction, so...


 * [Cut to: Nörskbild. Ray pretends to type on a pretend laptop used as a prop for the showroom. Joel stands nearby fiddling with a rack.]

Joel: Ray, what are you doin'? That's a fake laptop. Ray: Really, then why am I on—online right now. Joel: You're not online, Ray. It's fake.
 * [Ray frustratedly closes the fake laptop.]

Ray: Look, I know. Okay, I don't know what I'm doing, here. I don't even know how to pronounce this stuff. Okay, it's all "Uksven", "Erbuk", "Nyuk", "Geuhh", "Byeuhh". You know, you totally bailed on my orientation, all right, you spent all your time with that blonde customer—who, by the way, she doesn't buy anything. She just walks around, she's probably stealing. Joel: Actually that's um, that's not a customer. Ray, that's... that's my girlfriend. Ray: What?! That blonde girl's your girlfriend, the hot one?! Why didn't you tell me?! Joel: Well, I actually—I haven't told anyone yet. Ray: How do you not tell people that, Joel? She's so hot'.' If that were my girlfriend, I would glue her to my body.'' Joel: ... Well, look, it's not because I'm not proud of her, okay? It's ... it's 'cause my stupid roommate has got this whole thing about cavemen dating Homo sapiens. Like it's some kind of big betrayal, you know? [growing more frustrated] I mean, it's just ridiculous. Ray, this is, what, 2007? I can date whoever the hell I want, right? Ray: Yeah, I mean, it's not like you have a restraining order. Joel: Of c—of course not. Ray: Yeah, neither do I. Hmph. [Ray looks uncomfortable.] Joel: [stilted] I'm just sick of his whole self-righteous act. You know what I mean? Ray: [growing nervous] Totally. Joel: I'm just gonna tell him. I'm gonna get it off my chest, it's—it's—it's just not worth all the stress. Ray: You're not gonna bite me, are you?
 * [Joel stares at Ray, dumbfounded.]


 * [Scene: Trendy outdoor coffee shop.]

Andy: This place is really cool. Nick: Yeah, if you like hanging out with pretentious posers. [A waitress approaches to take their orders.] Can I have a tall soy macchiato and a cranberry biscotti? Andy: ...Uh... hi, a coffee and a donut, please. Waitress: Excuse me? Nick: He wants an Americano and a beignet.
 * [The waitress understands, looks at Andy with confusion before leaving.]

Nick: So I have a little theory about Joel's mystery lady. You know that crunchy cave chick that works at the book store? [Andy thinks about it.] Cat glasses, flat ass? Andy: [mimicking] Punk thtud. [Andy points to his tongue.] Nick: Bingo. You know, he's been there 5 times in the last month? Andy: How do you know that? Nick: 'Cause I was looking at his credit card bill online. Andy: Oh. Nick: He uses the same password for everything: "superjoel78." Such a loser. Andy: Huh.
 * [Waitress returns with Andy's and Nick's orders.]

Nick: Oh, umm... ooh. By the way, I have zero dollars. Andy: Oh. I'll get it. Um ... you think they'll take traveler's checks?
 * [Andy opens up a velcro fanny pack and rifles through his traveler's checks.]

Nick: Wow. Where did you get that, Grandmas on the Run? Andy: Umm... The Savvy Traveler. Nick: Indeed. Andy: Yep! You know what, though? I think I only have fifties and hundreds. Nick: No, those'll work. Andy: Yeah? Nick: Yeah, those'll work fine. Andy: Okay. Nick: What do you say we go ... stimulate the local economy? Andy: [laughs] All right!


 * [Scene: The Shores apartment complex. Leslie leads a couple down a hallway.]

Leslie: Hoo! Of course, I would replace that carpet. The previous tenant had an illegal dog. Male prospective tenant: Uh, is there a fitness center? Leslie: Ugh! Oh, I'm sorry. [laughs] It's just, thinking about the smell of that place always makes me kinda wanna throw up, but it's real nice. I won't go in there, but people do. And, uh, there's also laundry—
 * [As she speaks, Leslie leads the couple past Joel's apartment; coming from inside is a great deal of loud grunting.]

Male prospective tenant: What? What was that? Leslie: Uh...
 * [Joel arrives in the hallway. He is still in his uniform and is carrying a couple of bags of groceries.]

Leslie: Nick? Nick. Joel: I'm Joel. Leslie: [to couple] Um, if you just wanna run on down there, I'll be there in two shakes! OK! Y'all are so cute. [The couple continue on down the hallway; Leslie remains with Joel outside his apartment.] Hey, listen. You know, I'm not one to pass judgement, but I would so appreciate it if when I am trying to show a unit to prospective tenants, if you and your friends could keep down that primal grunting that you do? Joel: What are you talking about? [More grunting from the interior of the apartment.] I'm just gonna go. Leslie: I'm not passing judgment, Nick. Joel: I'm Joel. Leslie: Nuh-uh! [laughs] Oh my God. I'm sorry. Maybe one of you guys should tie, like, a piece of colored ribbon in your hair. I do that, when I'm traveling, to my suitcase. It's so much easier for everybody. Joel: I'll keep that in mind. Leslie: Okay, you do that. Those pants look great on you.
 * [Leslie leaves to follow up on the couple she sent ahead; Joel goes inside. Nick and Andy are enthusiastically playing Wii Sports Boxing, hence the grunting.]

Nick: Punch your face! ...Bodyblow! Joel: Where did you guys get that? Andy: We bought it. Nick: Yeah, and we bought a panini press. Andy: And down vests. Joel: How did you pay for this? You don't have any money. Andy: I have money, Joel. And I feel great. I haven't thought about Susan all day. Thank you, Nick. Nick: Oh, no, no, no, sir: the mountain bike is thanks enough. [at game] Roundhouse! Joel: All right, all right, guys, can we just turn off the game for one minute, please? Andy: [punching] Susan!
 * [Joel takes the controllers away from Nick. Andy continues playing.]

Joel: All right. Since you guys seem so concerned with my love life, I just wanted to clear up a few things. Nick: No, I've figured it out. Andy: You have? Nick: Yeah, and I completely understand. [Nick takes the controllers back from Joel and resumes playing.] She's uggo. Joel: Now, you are way off. Nick: Am I? Eighth grade? Tammy Grassly? Andy: [laughing] Ohh, "the grass stain"! I remember her. Her eyebrows connected with her sideburns. Nick: A.K.A., "the sidebrow". Dude, you have a track record of bringing home ugly girls and then hiding them from your friends. Joel: Well, I've got news for you, all right? Nick: Uh huh? Joel: Kate... is hot. Nick: Yeah? Joel: She is smokin' hot. Nick: Uh huh? Joel: And I'm not hiding her from you guys, all right, I'm protecting her from all your small-minded crap. Nick: Not wanting your friend to date a hog is not small-minded, it's actually being deeply caring. Joel: Oh, well, since you're so caring, I'm sure you won't mind this: Kate's a sape. Nick: [laughing] Yeah, right! [He turns to look at Joel, who nods.] Are you serious? Andy: [at game] Boom! Taste it, mule! [Andy laughs, then turns and sees Nick and Joel staring each other down.] What's going on?


 * [Scene: Apartment. Next morning; Joel is preparing coffee. Nick comes into the kitchen.]

Nick: Hey, Joel ... Joel: Don't even start, okay? Nick: What are you talking about? I was just gonna ask if there were any raisin buns left. Joel: Oh. I dunno, are they not up there? Nick: I don't see them, and I just thought that maybe this was something else that you were hiding from us. Joel: Oh, nice. Here we go, time for the lecture. Nick: It's a good rule, Joel. "Keep your penis in your genus." Joel: [in time with Nick] "... in your genus."
 * [Cut to Andy, playing Wii Sports Golf.]

Andy: [laughs] I like that. Joel: It's ridiculous. I have nothing to apologize for, okay? This is not the Dark Ages, Nick. People can be with whoever they want. Nick: Oh, so you're telling me it's just my problem. So, her friends have welcomed you with open arms? Joel: Yes... I'm sure they will. Nick: [laughing] Ohhh. Interesting use of tense there. So either they haven't warmed up to you, or—and this is so pregnant with meaning—they haven't met you yet. Face it, Joel, she is ashamed of you. Are you even in her top eight on FaceSpace? Joel: Shut up. We just haven't gotten around to it, OK? It's really not that big of a deal. Nick: Hey, Andy? Your brother's delusional, looks like I'm going to be your new role model. Andy: [distracted] Okay. [Andy swings the Wiimote and sinks the ball.] Eagle! [laughs] I got this game yesterday, Joel! Joel: You know what, Nick? I think you're jealous, because I'm dating somebody, while you sit around playing video games on your butt all day [Andy starts listening to Joel's tirade, growing upset.] destined to wake up one morning old, and alone, with nothing but regrets. Andy: Oh my God. [He drops the Wiimote dejectedly.] Susan. Joel: No. No no no no no, Andy. An—I was talking about Nick. Andy: No, Joel, I've made a terrible mistake. I've gotta make a phone call.
 * [Andy retreats into his bedroom, closing the door on his way in.]

Nick: Nice work, Joel. Now we get to spend the weekend listening to James Blunt.


 * [Scene: Nörskbild. Kate appears to be laying on top of Joel on a large rug. They kiss passionately.]

Joel: Hey. Hey. Kate: What? Joel: Hey. Kate: What, what? Joel: Hey, you know what I think we sould do tonight? I think we should get some people together, huh? My friends, your friends ... we could go out and get some drinks or something.
 * [Kate steps away from Joel toward top of screen; camera rotates to show that they are actually standing upright against the rug.]

Kate: Oh, actually, tonight's not a very good night: I already have plans, it's kind of a girl's night. Joel: Well, if it's "kind of" a girl's night, then one guy could come, right? Kate: [laughs] No, it's a girl's night. Joel: Well, I'll wear a skirt. Kate: Uh—no, it's just girls. Joel: I—I—I—I just wanted to talk to you ... [Kate resumes kissing Joel.] ... about something ... just ... ''[Kate continues kissing Joel. He gives up and reciprocates; turning her around to hold her to the rug. The camera rotates back so that Joel appears to be on top of Kate.]''


 * [Scene: Squash court. Nick, Joel and Maurice are playing squash; Joel looks frustrated.]

Joel: She kept avoiding the issue, you know? I tried to pin her down, but she's just so frickin' ... [Joel hits the ball.] hot. Maurice: She's not ashamed of you, she's ashamed of herself. Joel: What? Maurice: Her yearnings, her desires. Sapien women see us as the forbidden fruit. They think that we'll take them to a place sexually that they've never been before. Nick: Absolutely, Nicholas. [Nick clicks his tongue.] You gave her a little taste of something that she ain't gettin' nowhere else. And afterwards, they feel naked. Utterly transformed. Walking down the street, they think to themselves, "Everyone can tell, everyone knows what I've done." So they have to drive their impulses underground. Joel: Look, can we just play some squash, please? Maurice: Okay. Think about it.
 * [Joel turns to look out of the court, where Andy is sitting, on the phone again.]

Joel: Andy! Come on, man, get in here! Andy: Yeah, I'm coming, Joel. [to Susan] No, Susan, they want me to play squash. Maurice: Let's just play some cut-throat, guys, come on.
 * [Returning to the game, Joel serves; Maurice laughs.]

Nick: Long. Joel: What? Nick: The serve was long. Joel: What are you blind, that serve caught the line! Nick: Whoa, whoa, Bobby Knight. Don't take it out on us just because your girlfriend keeps you hidden away like some deformed cat. Joel: What? Nick: It's an expression. Joel: It's not an expression. Maurice: I've heard it. Nick: Thank you. Joel: Whatever.
 * [Joel serves badly again.]

Nick: Wow, it is so fun to play with you when you're impotent with rage. Has Kate seen this side of you, because I'm pretty sure her friends haven't.
 * [Joel angrily throws his raquet against the wall.]

Joel: You know what? They're about to.
 * [Joel walks out of the court and starts leaving for his car.]

Nick: Hey! Hey! You're our ride. Joel: Get a ride with Maurice. Maurice: Dude, I'm in the Boxster and the passenger seat's full of oranges. Joel: Fine. Just get in the damn car. Andy, now! Andy: [to Susan] No, I don't know. He wants me to get in the car ... I don't know why!


 * [Scene: Outside the restaurant where Kate is having her girl's night. Joel pulls up with Nick and Andy in the car—all three still in squash gear—and brakes violently.]

Nick: Well, that felt unsafe. Joel: This is between me and Kate, so please, stay in the car. Nick: No problem.
 * [Joel gets out of the car and heads for the restaurant. Nick and Andy wait a couple of seconds before following.]


 * [Cut to: Restaurant. Kate, Thorne, and friends have their drinks and are waiting for their meals.]

Thorne: OK, so then, his mom walks in the room. And I'm like, "You live with your mom? OK, this is so over." Kate: He was a loser. Thorne: Totally! So I was totally trapped there, I mean, how am I supposed to get my underpants off of him without waking him up?
 * [Joel looks around, sees Kate's group, and approaches.]

Joel: Hey! Kate: Joel! Joel: Yes! That's me, hi, I'm Joel. Kate: What are you doing here? Joel: I need to talk to you.
 * [Waiters begin to arrive at Kate's table. Nick and Andy walk by in the background slowly.]

Waiter #1: Hot plate, coming in. Joel: Look, Kate, there's something I need to say. And this is ...
 * [Waiter starts delivering meals to Kate and friends.

Waiter #2: Who had the lobster enchiladas? Kate's friend: I did. Oh, wait, wait, wait, I had pinto beans.

Kate: 'Cause that's mine. Thorne: Hey, that's mine. Joel: That's hers.


 * [Cut to: Restaurant bar, not far from Kate's table. Nick and Andy approach to get drinks.]

Nick: Cognac. Big. Andy: Uh, Gansett Light, please. On tap. Thanks. [Nick and Andy look over at Kate's table.] Which one is she? Nick: The hot one.


 * [Cut to: Kate's table. The last of the meals are being delivered.]

Joel: Thank you. Everybody got their food? Because I really need to say something. Thorne: Where is my fork? Do you have ... [Thorne looks at the other table settings.] Is that my fork? Kate's friend: I don't know.
 * [Joel reaches over to the next table, grabs a fork, and puts it in front of Thorne.]

Joel: Here. Done? Great. Listen to me, Kate. I refuse to be your dirty little secret. [Another waiter arrives, this time with tortillas.] No, do not bring those tortillas. [The waiter nervously turns and walks away.] Kate, I like you. A lot. But I'm not gonna be hidden away like some deformed cat, okay? Kate: What? Joel: It's ... an expression. Kate: ... OK. Um, well, Joel, this is everybody; everybody, this is Joel. We're dating. Kate's friend #1: Hi! Great to meet you. Kate's friend #2: Hi. Joel: Hello. Kate's friend: Hi.
 * [Kate's friends, unfazed, return to their meals. Kate looks at Joel, unsure what to say. Thorne turns to Kate and looks at her knowingly.]

Thorne: Another caveman?
 * [Joel looks from Thorne to Kate with some surprise.]


 * [Cut to: Bar. Andy opens his fanny pack and takes out some traveler's checks to pay for his and Nick's drinks.]

Nick: Seriously? It's time for a big boy wallet. Andy: Do you wanna pay? Nick: Point taken.


 * [Cut to: Outside restaurant. Kate and Joel sit on the sidewalk together.]

Kate: I'm ... sorry about that. It's just that my friends give me grief because I tend to jump into a lot of relationships that don't really last longer than a week or so, and, I'm ... you know, I figure why tell them unless I'm sure it's gonna last, you know? Joel: Yeah ... like, who needs that kind of pressure? Kate: Exactly. Joel: So, like, how many relationships? Kate: You know, like ... eight ... teen ... thousand or so. Joel: Less than 20K. [Kate laughs.] That's good. Kate: I knew you'd understand. Joel: Yeah. [Maurice approaches from the street, dressed appropriately for the restaurant.]

Maurice: What's up, Joel? Joel: Hey. Maurice: Hello, Kate. Kate: Hi, Maurice. Maurice: Long time no see, sweetness.
 * [Maurice continues inside. Kate and Joel sit awkwardy.]


 * [Cut to: Bar. Thorne pays for her drinks at the other end of the bar from Nick and Andy. She gives Andy a provocative look. He nods in her direction.]

Nick: You know what? You've been through a lot, so I'm gonna let this one slide, but keep it physical, all right? Andy: I'll try. Nick: Try hard. [Andy starts to walk off after Thorne.] Hey, Andy.
 * [Nick holds out his hand.]

Andy: Oh ... [He takes his phone from his pocket and hands it to Nick.] That's smart. Nick: No. Hook daddy up with some travvies.
 * [Nick slides the phone along the bar back to Andy, who somewhat hesitantly removes his fanny pack, leaving it on the bar in front of Nick.]

Andy: Ohh. OK. Just, um— Nick: Yeah yeah, no no. Absolutely. Andy: No, really, don't— Nick: I know, absolutely. I would never. Andy: Okay. Nick: Okay.
 * [Andy walks away.]

Nick: [to barman] I'd like to start a tab, please?
 * [Joel arrives at the bar.]

Nick: What's goin' on? Joel: [to barman] Uh, I'll have a chardonnay and a beer, please? Nick: So, you could do worse than dating a sape, I guess. Joel: I'll take that as a compliment. Nick: You should. Joel: Oh, and F.Y.I., not only is she not ashamed of me, she's actually dated a couple cavemen before me. So, sorry to break it to you, but it looks like her and I are the real deal. Nick: ...Okay. Joel: ...What? Nick: No, I just... I thought you were gonna say that she had a fetish. Joel: What? No... Because she dated a cavemen before? ...Or two. Or... however many. I mean, that—that hardly makes it a fetish. Joel: Look, cut it out, okay? Nick: No problem, man. It's already in your head.
 * [Nick pats Joel on the back and walks away. Joel sighs and the barman brings Joel and Kate's drinks. Joel picks them up, looks thoughtful for a moment, and walks away from the bar.]
 * [Credits roll.]